It is my firm belief that one cannot overstate the impact of a person’s culture and upbringing on:
how they talk
what they mean by the words they use
body language
overt actions
responses to what others do and say
There is no Christian culture apart from the larger ethnic and local
culture in which each of us has grown up. And in addition to our ethnic,
national, and regional culture, we have have a separate microcosm of
family culture as well.
A Korean laughing, and American laughing– a Northerner and a
Southerner laughing even– and a Brit laughing; all can mean, and
generally do mean, totally different things. Opposite, at times.
I know that you have experienced this already in your marriage, and
you I am sure have thought about it and learned about it and so forth. I
encourage you to look even deeper and see if there is more you can
glean. A cold should, or what feels like a cold shoulder to you, may
very well have some intent/meaning/expression that if you knew more
about, could be dealt with better/differently, than what you currently
know to do.
My suggestion would be to talk with your husband, to observe him with
yourself and with others, to observe the men and the women in his
culture and his family, read books, find some sociologist or
anthropologist, lol, who has written about your husband’s culture from
the viewpoint of your own, and see what you learn.
Christians should treat each other with love. For 19 years this meant
that when my husband was upset with me, he shut up. In his culture and
family, if you talk when you are mad you YELL MESS at each other. I did
not know that. I thought he was a nasty childish brute for giving me the
“silent treatment”. He was not giving me the silent treatment. He was
using whatever means necessary to avoid hurting me with his tongue. It
took me 19 years to understand that, and 19 yrs. for him to logically
look at what he was doing and realize it was not working (well, anyway)
for us. He was treating me with Christian love, all the same.
We are obviously slow learners. The point is, there’s a lot to learn. We don’t even know what we don’t know.
Hello. I am Tosin. I wish to narrate how I was permanently healed from Diabetes type 2 via a naturopathic herbal method.
ReplyDeleteMy mom had suffered from diabetes Mellitus and which had caused her early death when I was a toddler. I have also lived to have suffered, unbeknownst, from this terrible disease in my youth age, and of which has resulted in several health complications I had experienced in my lifetime. I was thus, placed on an insulin medication as I also had maintained a healthy diet and regular exercises. This mode of treatment had persisted a long time without any rightful hope for a healthy personality in the future. I was dying piecemeal, and of all qualities, I had desired for was to become a normal person again. I prayed and never had stopped believing Providence was preparing better opportunities on my behalf.
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