Victory Over Depression

Victory Over Depression

Guest Post by Iora M.

When I was in high school, I was very wacky. I used illegal drugs to self medicate; usually I used uppers to maintain the "maniac" phase of a "bi-polar" disorder. The maniac phase always seemed better to me, even though I was off the wall with running/racing thoughts, and crazy behavior. I hardly ever needed to sleep, and was always going somewhere.

I tried to kill myself twice, but both times I backed out at the last moment. Thankfully.

(I should mention I was not yet a Christian.) My family history contains depression on both sides, and my brother suffered from it too. Honestly, I could tell you all sorts of stories of my familial dysfunction, and depression... but anyway... I try not to rehash all the details.

Well when I was seventeen I finally went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as Bi Polar. I accepted medications, which "WORKED". (But I do not agree with them in principle, I do not think that just because a medicine works, means you had a physical disease... because as I mentioned illegal drugs were "working", but not exactly in the "right" way.)

Anyway, I went away to college, and stopped cold turkey on the meds. I resumed immoral behavior and drugs. I still was not saved.

Ok fast forward... I got saved my junior year in college (about eight years ago). I was still struggling with emotional upheaval, manic streaks, and depression. My husband and I did not agree with the use of drugs to medicate this. We believed that it was a spiritual issue, and needed to be dealt with in that way. (I majored in Psychology, and while I was reading all this in the school, I was reading the Bible too... and that is how I came to these conclusions...from experience, and school and the Bible.) I kept reading about things in the Bible (which I do not recall now... go figure...) that made me think of depression, and how it was a sin.

Mainly things about how we are to think on whatever is lovely, true, good.... etc. and how we are to have the joy of the Spirit, and peace. When you are depressed or manic, you do not feel the peace of the Spirit.

So, in our first year of marriage, I was still struggling, but was unwilling to go to a doctor about it. After our first baby I got what I believe is termed PPD. (I was never diagnosed...)  I used to have visions of hurting my baby, of killing him. I had terrible thoughts of hurting myself and leaving the baby somewhere. It got pretty bad, and those thoughts lead to guilt.

I started to get into the Bible more, and I was given a book called "Victory Over Darkness" by Neil T Anderson. That book revolutionized the way I thought of myself as a Christian....

I learned who I am in Christ. When I was able to learn that, AND how to take thoughts captive and replace evil thoughts with "whatever is pure, lovely, true..." THEN I saw victory.

I noticed that my times of depression SLOWLY started to diminish. Whenever I would get wrong thoughts, condemning thoughts, I would say in my mind "NO, that is NOT true, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ." I would use specific verses to refute lies.

What I did first was to analyze the things I was hearing in my mind. What was I saying in my thoughts that was wrong? This was a very hard step, because I was seeing no change, I just had to begin recognizing lies, and that is also hard to do when your whole life was made up of lies. (Did I mention I was a chronic liar most of my life?) My whole mental image of myself was a made-up lie. I prayed that the Lord would reveal the lies to me.

Then after that, I started to look up the truth to refute the lies. I started to memorize certain Scriptures. Most of them I took from the book mentioned above, and started there.

I started to keep a prayer journal, where I wrote down prayers to the Lord. (I have done this throughout my life off and on.)

I started to act on the truth I knew, by

1. Recognizing the lie

2. Saying "NO." to it

3. Refuting it with truth.

Step two required lots of time and effort. Many times the lie would persist. I would be yelling at myself in my mind. I would find my thoughts WAY off track, and would have to control them. The hardest part was the beginning, because your thoughts are often elusive if you are not analyzing them. You can be thinking something and not realize you are doing it. So instead of catching the lie the first time you said it to yourself you are catching it after it has a foothold. It is harder to beat back enemies when they have gained ground.

This got gradually easier and easier. I started to see victory. I believed that I ALREADY had this victory in Christ- that I simply had to act on it.

So I noticed that the depressive times lasted for a shorter time period. Then I started to notice my thought pattern BEFORE I fell headlong into the pit of despair. I could head it off at the pass, so to speak. As that happened the time between "episodes" lengthened.

(I should mention here, that racing thoughts were usually lies which would bring on depression... and because I was battling the lie, the racing of my thoughts started to slow down, so the manic phases were getting to be less and less too.)

I started to pray for the supernatural filling of the Joy of the Spirit. I believe I have gained it, though I do still struggle sometimes with angry thoughts, or discontent. But not with depressive guilty thoughts, or with condemnation.

I think after about two years, I saw pretty good victory. The only times I would struggle with lies like "I should just kill myself" or "just run into the road" or "you're a lousy ....." were when I was hearing it from other people, or when I had a fight with DH, and then beat myself up about it.

Or perhaps it was the Devil trying to whisper those thoughts into my mind... Anderson thinks it is the devil... I don't think it matters much as long as you do not own the thoughts. He emphasizes that the devil whispers into your ear these things, therefore they are not your thoughts, and you don't have to feel guilty about it. Personally, I believe they are not my spirit man's thoughts, because I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST. So whether they came from the flesh or the devil, I really don't know and I don't care.


I have not struggled with depression in about four years. I have had two more kids and no PPD. I do not expect to have to go to war over this again, though if I do, I don't think it will be much of a war, because it's a losing battle for the Liar.

Well that is my story... I hope it was clear, and that the Lord will use it to encourage others that may be struggling with depression. There IS hope for victory in the Lord!