Interview with Kendra Smiley

 Abour four years ago, I had the privilege of interviewing author and speaker Mrs. Kendra Smiley, for my website Mama Knows Best, which I have since shut down. I have preserved this fantastic interview here.

 Recently, my mom gave me a book called Journey of a Strong-Willed Child, by Kendra Smiley. I had not previously heard of the book and did not know what to expect, but she had pre-read it and told me that she saw my Joshua in its pages. I was curious to see if I would agree.

As Joshua is my oldest child and all of the stages he has gone through have been the first time for us as parents to go through them, I have been very hesitant to “label” him as strong-willed. After all, weren’t all children born with a tendency to not want to be controlled by anyone but themselves, like “sheep all have gone astray”? However, as he has gotten older and his younger siblings have gone through the same ages and stages without the same difficulties and challenges, I have come to realize that he is more high-maintenance than most, even though he is not my most out rightly defiant child.

So, I read the book and found it very insightful and encouraging; it inspired hope in me! One of my favorite parts of the book is that Kendra’s own strong-willed child, now a responsible and godly adult, shares his comments at the end of each chapter. I felt like I got a glimpse into my Joshua’s head by reading his commentaries! It was great to hear about what was going on in his thinking when he pulled his antics at four, eight or sixteen years old. Truly insightful.

I contacted Mrs. Smiley and she has agreed to an interview with MamaKnowsBest!

Kendra has a daily radio program heard on more than fifty stations and has authored other books as well, which I have not yet had the privilege of reading, including Do Your Kids a Favor…Love Your Spouse, BE THE PARENT: Seven Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids, Empowering Choices, and High Wire Mom - Balancing your family and a business at home. Please check them out at www.kendrasmiley.com.

Interview with Kendra Smiley

We would like to start just by getting to know you a little bit, especially as a mother.

1. Can you tell us a little bit about your family? How many children do you have and what are their ages, and grandchildren as well?

John and I have been married 37 years, and I married up. He was a catch! I was recently talking to someone and said that I didn’t deserve John, but I appreciated him, and that went a long way.

John and I have three sons. They are all regular grown-ups. Our oldest son is a football coach at Eastern Illinois University and is married to Marissa, who was an athlete at the university. They have 2 little girls, Madeline Grace who is two years old and makes me smile – as all the little girls do! – and Madeline also has a little sister named Ella Jean, who is probably about 5 weeks old. And then our second son Aaron, who is a veterinarian, mostly of horses – he’s a large animal vet, and lives in Indiana. He and his wife Kristen have a little girl named Jenna Ruth, who is 18 months old. And our son Jonathon is married to Ashley and they don’t have any children yet. She is a family therapist, and Jonathon is getting ready for dental school in the fall. They are a delight and they are all just fun, fun, fun.

2. What are some of your fondest memories with your children?

I have LOTS of them. I grew up in a dysfunctional home and one of my unspoken goals was that when I was the mama, we were going to have FUN! One of my delights as a mother of older children is to hear them recounting fun things from their childhood. The other day when my son and his wife were over, he was telling her that we only had ONE rule at our house, and that was “no singing at the table”! His wife said, “Did you have a lot of problems with that??” And it was so fun. I guess we had only two rules, the one about singing at the table, and the other one was simple: OBEY us. That took care of all the rules. I didn’t even remember the singing one, but I guess we had that one too.

We also lived on a farm when the kids were growing up and that gave them the opportunity to do a lot of things to do. We didn’t have to create responsibilities for them – they were built-in. It gave them an appreciation for the land that God created, to care for it. And it also gave them the opportunity to stay close to family. One of our sons said at one point that he couldn’t wait to get his drivers license, so he could find somebody else to play with, but now as adults, all of the boys are very close. They even have a weekly Bible study together. They use Skype and webcams and have a Bible study together. So, it all paid off.

3. What have you found most challenging about motherhood, and how have you handled this challenge?

Not being selfish. I really prefer, although it’s not very godly, to have the world revolve around me. I remember when I was pregnant with our first child, thinking that I was going to have to clean up my act. And, my act was not really all that messy. I just realized that it is a huge responsibility, and I was SO excited about it.

If you are going to do things God’s way, you’ve got to be unselfish, and that is hard on us human beings. I have heard a lot of people say, “If I knew then what I know now….”, and yet, I am glad to still be learning things now, and to not have stayed where I was then.

4. What book or resource has helped you the most as a mother?

God’s Word! Although, I want to encourage people to read the books I’ve written! But, God’s Word was the foundation. Back when our children were little, there were not as many resources available either. There was no internet, no MamaKnowsBest….

Another resource that I had was my friend Sue, whose oldest son was 3-4 years older than my oldest, and she was a great resource as well, to ask questions and things like that.

5. How did you come to the decision to send your children to public school?

Well, we really considered all the options: Christian school, private school, public school, homeschool. My husband and I are both educators by trade, and both of us taught school for a while, so we have maybe a unique perspective on the plusses and minuses of public education. So, some were ruled out: private school that was not Christian - there were not any. Christian school – there were two that were both quite far from our home and were quite denominational. Neither seemed to be the best choice for our family. So, that left us with public school or homeschool. Our kids all went to public school, but we had an advantage. We live in a rural area, and at that time the parents were able to choose the teacher they wanted for their child each grade! So, for three children going through 13 years of education each, we only made one grievous error, when we asked for a teacher that was not a good match for our son. We had had a good experience with this teacher with our oldest son, but we were forgetting that this son was not the same son! But, other than that, it worked out well.

Also, we were not afraid [of being pro-active], so that was a leg-up. For example, when our first-born son was about to start kindergarten, we went to visit the school the previous year to check it out, and we did not like what was going on. So, we went to talk to the superintendent of school, with a lot of confidence, because we had an opinion!

Another example is when our youngest son started kindergarten. My husband was in Kuwait as a military pilot, and when I went to pick up my son after his first week in kindergarten, I did not like what was going on. I didn’t like the setting, etc., and it wasn’t anything horrible, but I didn’t think it was good. So, I immediately went to the principal of the school where I thought he would thrive, and she said that he absolutely could switch, so he did.

So, my sons really did learn to be salt and light. They all went to public universities, where they could take a stand, and the way I like to spin it, is that they were already practiced in taking a stand, when people around them weren’t. So, that’s how it worked for us.

6. What do you wish you would've done more of when your children were at home?

Oh, golly, yeah. I’m kind of a sanguine person, so I tend to not think about this much! But I do wish I had been not as selfish. I wish I had been as mature as I am now, and there is no way I could have changed that. I’m just glad that I have matured now and didn’t stay the same way I was! But even looking at our sons, six years separate number one son from number three son, and looking at their walks with Christ, the baby got more out of our growth, because my husband and I were both more mature in the Lord. But, now they are all at a good place in their walks with Christ.

And, I guess I could’ve cleaned the house more, but I don’t think it mattered much. Their wives might have appreciated it though!

7. What's your favorite book of the Bible and why? (or if you would prefer to talk about a favorite verse, that is okay too.)

My favorite verse is John 8:32 – “ “ I grew up in a dysfunctional home where we did not know nor practice the truth. We never dealt with what was really going on! You are always in bondage to whatever you are dealing with, until the truth sets you free!

But I spent a lot of time in Proverbs when my children were young. God really covered everything there!

8. What are some ways you are/were able, as a mother with small children, to spend time with the Lord?

THAT’s a challenge! I think I’m playing on one string this morning! – on selfishness again – I am a woman who loves my sleep! I like 8 hours, 9 hours is even better.

So you really have to stay a step ahead on this one, which I think is the KEY to not stressing out. And you are still going to stress out as a mom. You are still going to be behind. We all wish we were pro-active in everything, but one of the keys is to just fight for that quiet time- and sometimes it is a fight! Even if it means getting up at what you think is a ridiculous hour – and some people think 7am is a ridiculous hour, but I had to get up much earlier.

What it really comes down to is going to bed earlier.

I had a friend who said that was when she mopped her kitchen floors – at night when her kids were in bed, and I told her to let the kitchen floors go! Her children didn’t mind!

Early on, I used to tell my husband, “I just have such trouble getting up in the morning!” and he used to tell me, “No, Kendra, you have trouble going to bed at night!” He is so realistic! But he was right.

So, we resolved early on to go to bed at the same time, and that really helped. {See more about this later on when Mrs. Smiley speaks on marriage.}

9. I have recently read your book Journey of a Strong-Willed Child and thoroughly enjoyed it. I saw my firstborn in it so clearly! Could you tell us a little bit about why you decided to write this book and about the process of writing it together with your husband and son?

With Aaron, our middle child, we learned early on that he was very strong-willed—and let me just pause here to say that being strong-willed is not based on birth order.

My husband, John, had also been a strong-willed child, turned responsible adult, so he had a leg-up! He was so good at it, and we believe that strong-willed children have a thought process behind what they do. They are not just stubborn children that do what they do just to see how far they can get – no! They have a strategy! And Aaron, from the get-go, had a strategy!

So, when he was a freshman in college – and by that time he was a formerly-strong-willed-child-turned-responsible-adult – I mentioned to one of John’s relatives that Aaron had been a strong-willed child. She had only seen him about once a year, and he had been very polite, so she found it hard to believe!

So I want to stop here and make that point too – It doesn’t matter whether or not you are strong-willed; that is not an excuse for poor behavior! Yes, Aaron was strong-willed, but we could have taken him to meet the president of the United States, and he would have been respectful.

So anyway, she couldn’t believe that he had been strong-willed, and asked if they could meet with us and talk. So, it was Good Friday on Aaron’s freshman year of college and he was coming home for Easter weekend. Their son had declared that he wanted to be a farmer and a pilot – that’s an interesting combination, but that’s what my husband is and has been for years, since he quit teaching school. So, they wanted John to convince their son that if he wanted to do that, he need to finish seventh grade, and pass, because at the time it was kind of a questionable thing for him!

So, we were talking with the boy, and later the kids went outside to play and we were sharing with them some deep things about Aaron, when lo and behold, Aaron walked in the door! My first thought at a mother was, “Oh, no! We’re talking about him! He’s going to feel so bad!” But he didn’t miss a beat! He jumped into the conversation with both hands and both feet!

The dad started a story – a story of some notorious thing the kid had done – and Aaron stopped him before he finished. He said, “Wait. Im going to tell you exactly what your kid did, and then I’m going to tell you why he did it.” We all thought, “Okay….”, but Aaron told the dad and mom exactly what the child had done and what he had been thinking about when he did it.

The dad just sat there, as if this giant light bulb had gone off above his head. I think it was the first time the man thought, “Oh, so you mean my kid doesn’t just do this to aggravate me?? You mean there is a thought pattern, so that Aaron could even predict what this kid was thinking??”

I went to bed that night and could hardly sleep. In the morning I said, “John, God wants us to write a book about being strong-willed.” And, obviously, we had to get Aaron’s by-in, because he’s the star of the show! He calls himself a one-hit wonder, because he’ll never probably write another book.

But, he is so delightfully honest, even though these are not beautiful stories. Someone asked him once, “Why do you bother to do this?”, and we came up with a perfect analogy: After the resurrection, Christ came back, still with the wounds in his hands, and he was able to minister to people – to Thomas especially, by showing the wounds in his hands. And Aaron says that he knows he can minister to people by the wounds in his life. He’s an incredible kid!

10. I have a question about strong-willed children: In your book, you talk about “choosing your battles wisely”, especially with a strong-willed child. It made a lot of sense to me, even though I had thought previously that that was just another way of saying that you let the child have his own way instead of obeying properly. Can you explain the difference?

Typically, a strong-willed child is willing to debate with you all day.  Remember that it is crucial that you win the battles you choose to fight.  Hence, you must pick and choose.  You as the parent set the standards and the parameters.  There are some battles that must be fought.  Those fall under the headings of defiance, destruction, and danger.

11. You also talk about how a strong-willed child can argue their parents to death…. This is definitely my Joshua! Yet, more often than not, it doesn’t appear to be “arguing” – which is why I sometimes don’t catch it until it’s overboard – he just wants “explanations” for things…. You also talk about this being important to the strong-willed child, knowing the “why” behind what you are requiring of them. Can you explain the difference, or how to handle this in a practical way?

As a parent you will need to discern when the child genuinely desires an answer or in some cases, validation of their feelings or actions, and when he or she is merely asking "why" for the sport of it.  If it is "sport" then you can engage as long as you desire and then call an end to the discussion.

11. A couple of our readers also sent in questions about strong-willed children:

My firstborn, also a Joshua, would definitely be labeled strong willed. I really thought that we had made some progress. He just turned 5 a few months ago and I feel like we have digressed quite a bit. I was wondering if impulsiveness comes with strong willed. I feel like I am always nagging him about the little irritating things. --- another Kendra

Okay, first about the seeming progress and now going backward… It is not two steps forward and one step backward. It’s more like building a wall – you just need a little more mortar and a few more bricks. So don’t give up. Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Keep working with that.

Impulsiveness? Well, I do think that strong opinions do go along with being strong-willed.

One more thing I want to address – about “nagging him about all the little irritating things”. Is that necessary? What are those negative, little irritating things? I decided, early on, that either I was going to be pro-active and lay out everybody’s clothes before Sunday school and church, or if I didn’t, and they dressed themselves, I was not going to have an angina over “bad plaid”. And do you know why we don’t like “bad plaid”? Because it makes us look like we are not perfect! Well, guess what? Everybody around you already knows you are not! And no parent is perfect.

So, since she did specifically say “little irritating things”, maybe take a Lamaze cleansing breath and see if they really are significant. Now, if he’s eating bugs, you might want to go after that one, but there really are a lot of things that you really just need to let go, as moms.

I have a Question, my 3rd child is very strong willed, and ever since about two years of age, every time he is disciplined or told "no" he screams. Now he is four.
My first two did not do this so I'm at a loss as far as how to handle him. Do you have any tips to help with a child like this? --- athomemama

A child will do what you allow them to do. For example, when we would have to spank Aaron, which hurts – if it doesn’t hurt, it’s ridiculous and you are just hurting yourself – so, when Aaron would get spanked, my husband would say, “Okay you have 2 minutes (or whatever) to cry.” And then would come another consequence.

Or, about the screaming, when it’s not in the heat of the battle, just when you are having a nice day in the park, say to your child, “We need to talk about your screaming. We just really are not going to accept that any more. So, that is just going to be against the rules. That means when Mom or Dad say something like no, you may not scream. So, if you choose to do that, this will be the consequence for that.” And the consequence can be whatever you choose it to be. And you have to follow through.

They want more than anything, more than any other kind of child, they want for you to be the real deal. And they are going to test to make sure you really are. So, be the parent!

12. One of your books is titled Do Your Child a Favor … Love Your Spouse. Could you explain a little bit about why that is so important?

John and I have established the following as our priorities, which is probably the only way we are the same - this list of priorities which we agree on! They are:

1. God
2. Marriage
3. Children
4. Work
5. Other Good Things

That’s the list of priorities that we want to live by. And those are not just a time allotment, like “4 hours to God, 3 hours to John” -- no. It’s a relationship commitment. And they are based on the longevity of the relationship.

I have three grown children. I used to say that when they were little, I played a starring role. Then, I was a supporting actress. And now I got a bit part. And that’s just how I want it. I don’t want to have a 35 year old man who I am mommying. It’s just not appropriate.

So, it’s based on longevity. For example when I think of “other good things” I’ve done, be it vacation Bible school or being president of the PTO – those things pass most rapidly.

Then, in the category of “work”. No one that I work with is going to visit me in the nursing home. Let’s face it.

Then children are next, but your relationship with them morphs as they grow. Also, a note to mother-in-laws out there: your kids are a #3 on your list, but you are a #5 on their list (“other good thing”), so that’s important to remember!

And then comes my relationship with John, which is “til death do us part”.

And then the Lord, which is eternal! So, I want to make the biggest investment in that.

So, the first step is to take a look and see if you can’t establish shared priorities.

Then, I like to say that I wanted our home to be an “aaaaahhhhh” place. A place where the children could say, “life’s been beating me up, but now I’m home!” A safe place. And one part of that is mom and dad loving each other. That is security.

Look at your differences, knowing that we can bring out the strengths in one another: I’m more of an extrovert, whereas John is more of an introvert. Or just differences between men and women – that’s enough to make you go crazy right there! When you work on those things in a positive way – you do your kids such a favor, and you give your kids skills that they are going to need in any relationship!

Loving one another is such a wonderful foundation for your kids.

13. What are some practical ways that mothers with young children can make their marriage a priority?

Part of carrying something out is purposing to do it.

One of the things we resolved early on was that we went to bed together. There were times when he had to get up in the middle of the night to fly, and he would go to bed when it was still light out, so that was kind of hard, but for the most part, we went to bed together. But we decided that it would enhance our relationship if, when it was time to go to bed, it was time for both of us to go to bed. And sometimes we had to negotiate, but it meant that I didn’t mop the floors at 10:00 at night, because he was ready to go to bed. And that was great! Who cares about the floors anyway? It’s been mopped once or twice since then!

Another thing we did was this: John had crazy hours, but whenever he came in from work, he would give the boys a big hug and kiss, and then he would say, “Okay, I’m going to talk to your mom now, and then I’ll be in in a minute and we’ll play.” So our kids always saw that we had a relationship. His basic personality is introverted, but he was always a talker when it came to me.

It is a matter of taking the time and making the time.

Also, we would have a “S.A.M.S.” meeting - a “Sunday A.M. Summit”. So, whenever we had issues, especially if there was some tenseness to them, whether it had to do with the children or with our relationship, we would say, “Let’s talk about that at the SAMS meeting. And that was good, because it diffused it, first of all. By the time you had the SAMS meeting, you were cooled off and not so defensive. And we would talk about everything, from “This kid is driving me crazy” to “Do you think it was a good way that I handled that?” or he may say, “That really made me feel disrespected, when you did that.” – and I would have had no concept that it did.

We also had a Bible study that we did, not just the two of us, but with a whole group. We had a thing called “Growth Group”, and it was all young couples our age. Now we are all in our late 50’s and many of us are still very, very good friends now! But it was a place where we could talk about some of the challenges, and we would take a good book on marriage and we would plow our way through it. John and I led that for years.

14. There has also been quite a bit of reader interest about your book High Wire Mom - Balancing your family and a business at home. Have you ever done a home-based business?

Oh, ya! For years! I started in 1980, and it was a home-based business of direct sale of Christian books. It was a lot of fun. I didn’t make a lot of money, but it fed my reading habit and I was able to have good books around for the children to read. We were on a limited budget, and I wouldn’t have been able to do that otherwise. Also, the money it did bring in meant we could go to Subway or McDonalds, and we also got to go to the conventions! We heard wonderful speakers and singers there, and would just have a great time.

So, the book High Wire Mom is about that – running a business at home. There are three parts, talking about priorities, about the business aspect of it, and then about time management.

Before I had kids I taught school and coached athletics, and I managed my time, but it was different because I had someone telling me when to be where, and what to do. Then all of a sudden, I was a stay at home mom and I found myself thinking, “I could clean out the refrigerator…… or I could wait until tomorrow!” because no one was telling me what to do. But then I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life saying, “Or I could wait til tomorrow…”

So, that whole concept of managing time is for anybody, whether they have a home business or not.

One of our readers sent these questions in:

I'd love to hear more about how to balance home life with a home based job. I find myself staying up very late to "work" and then I'm too tired during the day to be a good mom... but it seems like if I try to do work during the day I end up pushing the kids away all day long. I'd love some wisdom!

Of course, nap time is incredible! One other thing that I did, a very practical thing was this. I started my business when my oldest son was not quite 2, and I was pregnant with our second child. So one thing I would do is give my son his own desk. It had a lid that would slide open and had a chalk board on top. I would put things in it that he “needed”, like scrap paper and stickers and crayons and such, and I would say to him, “Let’s go in the office and work!” So we would do that and he would “work” and invent his own games. We would interact a little, but not so much that I had to be playing with him.

That’s another thing – I think it is an interesting concept in this day in age that we have to “play” with our children all the time. You really don’t. It really is kind of a gift if you can teach them how to amuse themselves.

Now getting back to the issue of balance – sometimes I would do “work” because it was more fun! I sold books, so I would sort the books, or I would read and then say – “Sorry, I’m working!” So, it’s important to remember what really is important.

I got a call one day from another gal I was in direct sales with, and my children had labeled her the “mom hog”, because she would call and we would not really accomplish anything, but she would just hog mom’s time! So, I got a call from her one time, and I wasn’t even talking – just listening to her talk and “yepping” politely from time to time. Well, I came into the living room and my youngest son (the older two were in school at the time) had gotten out every single toy anyone owned and they were all over the place.

So, I calmly said that he needed to pick the toys up. He was a very laid-back child, not strong-willed at all, and he said to me, “I’m too busy. Im not going to pick up the toys any more times.” And I remember thinking, “Where did he learn that phrase??” … and I realized he’d heard me say it. “Im too busy, I’m too busy”. So that was a huge wake up call, because that child was so easy-going, and he wasn’t demanding. Because of that, I overlooked him too much. So that was a huge wake up call to never, ever, ever overlook him – he’s so much more important. I’m so thankful for that to this day. We have a great relationship, and I know God intervened that day.

So, some of the things you think you have to do, you may not have to do. And by the same token, teach your child to function without you having to be with them every second of the day. Have a good eye on them, but you don’t have to “play” with them.

What's a good way to measure if you're spending enough time caring for your children during the day while trying to run a home based business? --Michelle

Oh, wow, I don’t know if there is a good way to measure that. My first thought off the top of my head is the contentment of your child, but there are just a lot of children that come into this world discontent, so that’s not necessarily it! I think that depends on the individual child. It really does, so that’s when I think she’s going to have to go to a Higher Source. That’s out of my pay grade!

When each of my boys were seniors in high school, they went on a trip with Mom. So, when I took Jonathon with me, we went to a convention, and one of the keynote speakers took him aside and asked him (because she thought it would be funny), “How do you and your mom get along?”

Well, apparently I had shared what had gone on earlier in his life with someone when he was old enough to understand and interpret it, so he answered her like this, “Oh, God talked to her when I was little and said, ‘Don’t take advantage of him, cause he’s real easy-going! So, we get along real well because mom listened to God.”

So, I think God can do that. The Word of God says that if we lack wisdom, we are to ask for it, so that’s where she needs to go for that question.

15. Could you tell us a little bit about your books BE THE PARENT: Seven Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids, and also about Empowering Choices?

The main message is Be.The.Parent! We have a group of young adults starting to be parents who are kind of reticent about taking their job! And it’s a wonderful, stressful, difficult job. It’s a responsibility; it’s a privilege to be a parent, and they’ve kind of abdicated the throne.

This title came about because John and Aaron and I were doing a conference for the Strong-Willed Child and we opened it up for questions at the end. Well, there was this gentleman in the back, and as I recall he was about 6’3”, a great big masculine guy, and he raised his hand and was just as honest as can be and he said, “My wife and I have one child, a 3 year old daughter, and she is running the show. What can we do?”

And John had a three word answer for him, “Be the parent”. It’s your job, your privilege, your responsibility. And we realized that we were saying that a lot – almost like we were giving people permission, like they were needing some one to give them permission.

Another question I remember, early on, was a woman who asked me, “Do I have to give my 3 year old a snack, right before dinner?” And I asked her, “Do you want your three year old to have a snack right before dinner?” And she said, “No.” And I said, “You know what? You don’t have to!” I then gave her some strategies and some things she could do. And later she came up and gave me a big hug and thanked me for telling her that!

Does it make your job easier? Ya, but that’s not why you are doing it! You’re doing it for love of your child. Because you are called to. They cannot be the parent. They are not smart enough to be the parent. They don’t have enough experience to be the parent. It’s not God’s plan for them to be the parent.

So, the subtitle is: Seven Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids. And what is a “great kid”? Someone who loves God, who obeys God, and who glorifies Him with their lives.

John and I have our own definition of what it means to glorify God with our lives. We believe that God put inside each one of us a “song”. And when you sing that song back to God, you are glorifying God. Some people think you have to be a missionary or a pastor to be glorifying God, but no. If you are singing your song back to God, you can be a football coach, you can be a veterinarian, you can be a dentist, and if you are singing your song to God, you are glorifying Him with you life.

Before we close, Is there anything else you would like to share with other mothers?

I would like to encourage them to just hang in there. Do not grow wearing in well doing, for in due season you will reap a harvest of blessings if you don’t get discouraged and give up.

There were times, especially with our strong-willed child, multiple times, when I would lie in bed at night and I would say to my husband John, “Why does Aaron hate me?” Because I just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t just get along! Why we had to have these struggles every day!

And John would always say the same thing, “Aaron doesn’t hate you. He’s just testing you. He’s just testing you to see if you still love him enough to be the parent.”

And that is so incredibly difficult some days. There are times when we think we just can’t do this job, that we are not equipped. Yes, you are! God never calls us to do something that He doesn’t equip us to do, and that includes being a mama.

There were times when I thought, “This is too hard of a job for me, I think” – but you don’t give up, and you see those glimmers. Keep a journal or a log of when you have a breakthrough, and then even if it’s been weeeeeeks since you’ve had one, you can go back and read that.

KNOW that God is going to help you with this job! He wants His kids to sing their song.