What to Do About Picky Kids

 What To Do About Picky Kids

Written in July 2008

Am I the only one who gets tired of picky kids in the house??? I was sure that I would never raise picky kids; they would simply be expected to eat whatever was set before them, and that was that. 

Breakfast and lunch are rarely a problem, but at dinner time it seems that there is always someone that is unhappy, someone that just "isn't hungry", or something to complain about. We have tried different approaches: disciplining for complaining about the food, clearing the table and making them go without until the following meal, and even then we often saved their plate and gave them the same thing at the following meal, etc.

Still, the problem persisted. It's not like we make them eat liver and brussel sprouts at every meal!  I began to realize that they just have too much. Too much variety, too much abundance on the table, too many options to be thankful for just anything they have available to eat. We are SO thankful for the Lord's provision for us, and yet it is so easy to start complaining when things come too easy and not be thankful for our "daily bread". The Lord even warns us in Deut 6 that this is our tendency: "When the Lord your God brings you into ... a land filled with large, flourishing cities which you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant - then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

So, a couple years ago I had an idea. We set aside a day in which we ate only rice and beans, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No snacks in-between, and only water to drink. I started talking it up a week in advance, telling the children that we were going to learn to be truly THANKFUL!!! YAY! We were going to experience what the majority of the world live on every day, and we were going to remember that SO many people in the world don't even have that much, and would be ecstatic if they did! We were going to be in missionary training - learning to eat anything, so that one day if the Lord should call us to another country, we would not have to wonder or worry about what we would eat, because we were learning to eat anything! It was going to be GREAT, I kept telling them!

Well, the evening before our rice and beans day, our oldest son Joshua (then 6 years old) didn't "feel like" eating his supper. I told him that was fine, but he would not eat anything else until the following day, and that would be rice and beans only. He said that was fine, so I cleared the table.

The next morning, I served rice and beans for breakfast and the two older children just picked at it, eating nothing. I told them that was fine, but there would be nothing else until lunch! And then I cleared the table. We left the house to go garage sale-ing a bit later, and our oldest son Joshua started to complain about not feeling well. I told him it was because he had not eaten, and that he should have taken the opportunity to eat when he had the chance, and that he would have another chance at lunch. He stayed in the car during all of the garage sales, and even dozed off several times - VERY unusual for him in the morning hours. He was really starting to look lethargic by the time we got home for lunch. 

So for lunch, I served more of the same. This time our daughter ate well, as did the toddler and I, but Joshua STILL just picked at his plate and said he wanted to go to bed!  I couldn't believe the stubbornness! He does not usually take naps anymore, but this day, he went straight to his bed and slept for about three hours!

When he woke up, I asked him if he wanted his plate? He said no. I was really surprised, because he is the one that usually eats rice and beans without any problem when we serve them for dinner. I had not anticipated this kind of battle. I was starting to feel bad, because he was really looking pitiful, but it’s not like I was starving him! His plate was right there available whenever he wanted to eat it! Instead, he lay on the couch the rest of the afternoon, dozing off now and then, until supper time. 

That is when I discovered his plan.  He figured he would just withstand the hunger for the day, because he could eat something better tomorrow! When I informed him that we would have Day 2 of Rice and Beans if he didn't eat them today, he decided to eat supper, and BOY did he eat supper! 

That night with Daddy, we read the Bible account of manna in the wilderness, and then about the people complaining and desiring meat instead. The Lord finally "gave in" and sent them quail - but then sent a plague "while the meat was still between their teeth" and they died! (See Numbers 11) So again, we talked about being thankful for what we have and eating what is set before us. We prayed for the many that go to bed hungry every night, without even rice and beans to satisfy them, and we talked about preparing to be missionaries.

The next morning I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to talk to Joshua about spiritual nourishment. As he had gone for about 24 hours without food, and felt weak in his body and unable to function well, so our spirits become weak without the nourishment of God's Word and the seeking of His Presence in our lives on a daily basis. We talked about this for a while, and a light really seemed to go off with him.

So, Fabio and I decided to continue to do this occasionally, to reinforce the lesson. We call it "Manna Day"! We did not know it at the time, but we were truly in “missionary training”. The Lord has called us to go to the mission field of Brazil as a family, and we will be leaving in December of 2009. And in Brazil, they eat rice and beans every single day!